What Is Love?

Falling in love is a complicated process. It is usually a natural progression through four stages: attraction, connection, intimacy and commitment.

When you meet someone new and you are physically attracted to him or her, this is the first hint that love may be in the cards. Of course, this is too premature to determine as you are most likely to be attracted by the overall appearance of the person. What he or she wears and talks all play a part in stirring that emotions in you.

When two people are mutually attracted, it paves the way for the second stage of connection. As they communicate and find themselves exchanging ideas or opinions that they both agree with, there is an amazing connection which brings their relationship to a very comfortable level. Sometimes, the connection is so strong that they can complete what each other wants to say or know what the other party is thinking about.

When both parties are able to connect, the relationship gets to a higher level. The intimacy both shares cannot be easily substituted by someone else. Emotional intimacy is achieved through nonverbal signals, such as prolonged eye contact, incidental touching, self-disclosure (in which you share your true self with another). As both of you reveal more, it makes you feel that you are not alone anymore. When you are happy, you would want to share the good news with the other person. When you are sad, you know there is someone who will lend you a listening ear. The feeling of unity and oneness comes into the picture and you can see a future with the person you are with.

From here the shift into commitment with the other person comes naturally. You feel responsible for him or her in whatever decisions you make about your life and your work. A monogamous relationship does not sound scary to you anymore. Its when you can see yourself spending the rest of your life together with that special someone. It's when you are confident in saying he or she will be your one and only.

Having someone special is important to humans as there is a need to express ourselves emotionally and intellectually. We want someone whom we can share life’s pleasures with and someone who can give us feedback. When two people communicate openly, express feelings and emotions, there is reassurance and hope and connection to a future.