How to Avoid First Date Conversation Disasters

Do you know what you should never discuss or say on the first date? These conversation topics may jeopardize your chances of making it to the second date, so bear them in mind and avoid talking about them unless really necessary!

1) Your past relationships

Sharing the intimate details of your past relationships will prove a bit too much to digest for your first date. If you have emotional baggage resulting from your past relationships or marriage, the conversation may become really awkward if you start lamenting about how bad your ex is or how much you detest him. Your current date may get the wrong idea that you are on the rebound, or you are looking for someone just to spite your ex. It also shows that you are still not able to let go of the past and move on to the present.

2) Marriage and commitment issues

Discussing about marriage on the first date is a huge turn-off for men, unless he is one of the rare ones who are ready to get married anytime. It simply puts a label on you that say "single and desperately looking". If your date is not ready for commitment and marriage, I guess that will be the last you will see of him. Even discussing about how beautiful and touching your cousin's wedding last month is a no-no. You may not mean anything more than that, but he may think that you are urgently looking forward to your own wedding.

3) Financial matters

It is inappropriate to ask about your date's financial particulars, especially details like his current salary, his mortgage or his credit limit, etc. These numbers are considered personal information and there is no need for you to find out, until many dates later. I'm sure you do not wish to reveal your private numbers (pun intended) like your weight, your chest-waist-hip ratio, etc, on the first date right? Always put yourself in his shoes and see if you will be comfortable answering those questions before even asking. Do not attempt to intrude in his personal zone too early.

4) Serious topics like religion or current affairs

If you can keep it to a brief and casual discussion, it is alright. But if both of you are equally persistent in your differing views, the date may end on a serious and unpleasant note. I'm sure your date would not want to go a second date with you as the first has already left a bad taste in his mouth! Pick light-hearted topics to talk about instead and you will not have to worry about treading on land-mines that may explode any moment throughout your date.

5) Sex-related topics

Never, ever tell a man on a first date of how you view sex or how many boyfriends you have slept with. Some people enjoy listening, but very often most do not feel comfortable with it. On the first date, you should give each other a chance to get to know each other in other ways and sex should not be the priority. Put yourself in the same position. If the guy you date tells you his favourite love-making position or fetish on the first date, how would you feel? Most people will be turned off as it is not necessary to know such stuff to such detail, especially if you are almost like strangers to each other. Leave it to a time when both of you have reached another level of connection and intimacy to discuss.

Of course, the topics above are still worth discussing, especially when both of you wish to take the relationship further. It is part and parcel of the stages of discovering each other, so let nature take its own course and talk about these later when the chance arises. Never hurry to find out so much on the first date as first dates are more about first impressions. If you just thrown out your chances of advancing to the second date, is it necessary to even find out so much on the first? Think about it!

Authored By:
Angela Tay