In the dating game, nobody likes to be rejected. When that happens, it makes one feel really down and the first thing that most people would do is to find fault with themselves. I fully understand how upsetting it can be when you finally plucked the courage to express how you feel, only to get an answer that flatly says "Sorry, you are rejected"!
That's why people who have experienced rejection in dating often feel uncomfortable to date again after their first few attempts. They lose confidence in themselves and breed negative thoughts about even starting any relationship. They might even suffer from low esteem eventually.
But if you look at it from another point of view, rejection is just a numbers game. Just like when you walk into a furniture store to buy a dining table, you may not set your eyes on the first one that you see. You will most likely walk around and compare the sizes and prices of different tables. You may also have a preference for a round table instead of a square one. See what I mean?
Rejection is often just a selection process. You rejected the square dining table and eventually bought the round one because it fits nicely into your dining area. For someone else though, the square one may be perfect for them! Same goes for the dating game. You may reject someone because they are not tall enough for you, but someone else may reject you because you are too tall for them!
Rejection is often not personal. It's wise to learn how to deal with it more positively. It is not an opportunity for self-pity, but rather be positive, reflect and self-examine on the reasons why you are rejected. Sometimes, the reasons do not lie with you, why make yourself sad over it! If you don't welcome rejection, you will tread on it over and over again subconsciously. But when you learn how to let go and move on, only then you will untie the knot in your heart and allow someone else to come in.
Handling rejection requires an immediate adjustment in attitude. If the person doesn't return your interest, you may feel depressed initially, but after a day, snap out of it and move on! Feeling sorry for yourself means you have succumbed to the fear of rejection, and defeated your goal of overcoming it.
Love and dating is a complex process. If it is not meant to be, respect the other person's wishes graciously. It's just part and parcel of life's selection process. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, it just means both of you are not meant to be a couple, that's all. Don't take rejections too personally but always deal with it rationally and you will be a much happier person.
Authored By:
Angela Tay
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