How to Avoid First Date Conversation Disasters

Do you know what you should never discuss or say on the first date? These conversation topics may jeopardize your chances of making it to the second date, so bear them in mind and avoid talking about them unless really necessary!

1) Your past relationships

Sharing the intimate details of your past relationships will prove a bit too much to digest for your first date. If you have emotional baggage resulting from your past relationships or marriage, the conversation may become really awkward if you start lamenting about how bad your ex is or how much you detest him. Your current date may get the wrong idea that you are on the rebound, or you are looking for someone just to spite your ex. It also shows that you are still not able to let go of the past and move on to the present.

2) Marriage and commitment issues

Discussing about marriage on the first date is a huge turn-off for men, unless he is one of the rare ones who are ready to get married anytime. It simply puts a label on you that say "single and desperately looking". If your date is not ready for commitment and marriage, I guess that will be the last you will see of him. Even discussing about how beautiful and touching your cousin's wedding last month is a no-no. You may not mean anything more than that, but he may think that you are urgently looking forward to your own wedding.

3) Financial matters

It is inappropriate to ask about your date's financial particulars, especially details like his current salary, his mortgage or his credit limit, etc. These numbers are considered personal information and there is no need for you to find out, until many dates later. I'm sure you do not wish to reveal your private numbers (pun intended) like your weight, your chest-waist-hip ratio, etc, on the first date right? Always put yourself in his shoes and see if you will be comfortable answering those questions before even asking. Do not attempt to intrude in his personal zone too early.

4) Serious topics like religion or current affairs

If you can keep it to a brief and casual discussion, it is alright. But if both of you are equally persistent in your differing views, the date may end on a serious and unpleasant note. I'm sure your date would not want to go a second date with you as the first has already left a bad taste in his mouth! Pick light-hearted topics to talk about instead and you will not have to worry about treading on land-mines that may explode any moment throughout your date.

5) Sex-related topics

Never, ever tell a man on a first date of how you view sex or how many boyfriends you have slept with. Some people enjoy listening, but very often most do not feel comfortable with it. On the first date, you should give each other a chance to get to know each other in other ways and sex should not be the priority. Put yourself in the same position. If the guy you date tells you his favourite love-making position or fetish on the first date, how would you feel? Most people will be turned off as it is not necessary to know such stuff to such detail, especially if you are almost like strangers to each other. Leave it to a time when both of you have reached another level of connection and intimacy to discuss.

Of course, the topics above are still worth discussing, especially when both of you wish to take the relationship further. It is part and parcel of the stages of discovering each other, so let nature take its own course and talk about these later when the chance arises. Never hurry to find out so much on the first date as first dates are more about first impressions. If you just thrown out your chances of advancing to the second date, is it necessary to even find out so much on the first? Think about it!

Authored By:
Angela Tay

How to Know If a Girl is Interested in You - 3 Easy to Spot Signs You May Have Missed!

You may have an inkling that she likes you, but you do not want to make the first move until you are at least quite sure. Maybe you can start to observe whether she is giving you some of these signs, hoping you will catch it soon!

#1 She tries to find out whether you are still available in the most subtle ways you will be surprised! For e.g., when you go out on a casual date, she may find chances to say things like "Hey, this pair of earrings are really nice, why not get it for your girlfriend?" And probably you might answer "Hmm, but I don't have a girlfriend now". You may think that it is a very direct answer to her question, nothing much to ponder about, but in actual fact, you have given her the answer that she is looking for.

#2 Sometimes she may know that you are single, but she is not sure whether you have someone that you may be interested in already. So she may find chances to ask questions like "That classmate of yours, she's pretty right?" And you may answer "Yup, she is quite the belle in the class, and very intelligent as well". If she suddenly clams up, stops talking or even start pouting, you know she feels kind of jealous and sore about it. If she treats you only as a platonic friend, she will not behave this way.

#3 Your phone can't stop ringing from the messages she has been sending you, and if you notice, most of them are not really important at all. She may just be updating you with what she has just bought from the mall, or grumbling to you on how boring her teacher is in class. She may also try to find out what you have been doing, where you have been, and other private details of your life. Some guys don't feel this is because a girl is interested in them, but this is in fact a very obvious sign that means you are the first person she thinks of whenever she feels happy or sad. I bet she is looking forward to spending all her time with you if she can.

Hey, are you feeling a sense of familiarity that these sequence of events may have happened before? Or is she displaying such behaviour right now under your nose, thinking that you will never find out?

Well, if you feel more confident now that she may be interested in you, go with your gut feeling and make it known to her. Don't keep each other guessing for too long, it's such a waste of time. Love does not come easy, so when you think you have found someone you can click with, I think you should grab the opportunity and spend time working on your relationship instead.

Authored By:
Angela Tay

How to Meet Men If You Are a Shy Woman

It's the start of the new year. Are you looking forward to finding that special someone to spend time with?

You might wonder why some women have it so naturally when it comes to meeting men. Some women can flirt effortlessly and are always the centre of attention at any social events. If you are shy, you will usually be left at the back of the pack and often go unnoticed.

Is it getting exasperating that your friends are getting hitched one by one except you? You can't change from shy to being sociable overnight, but you can consider these ways of meeting men!

1) You can use a traditional dating service or engage a professional matchmaker

These agencies do charge for their services, usually depending on the package you sign up with. You might take up a package that allows you to go for a number of dates. The agency will get your profile and try to match you with a guy closest to your preferences in terms of education, hobbies, character, values, etc. Both of you will then meet each other on an arranged date by the agency.

This way of meeting men is great for shy women as the agency would have done the job for you in screening men who fit your criteria. But try not to be too stringent and inflexible in your options as you will end up with less choices and it will take a while to get a suitable date. Also, do engage more established matchmaking agencies as their membership base will be larger and your chances of finding a suitable match gets higher.

2) You can place personal ads on newspapers or magazines

Personal ads have been around for a long time, but it does work for shy women as they can communicate with the men first before even considering a date with them. Men who respond to your ad could possibly be also seriously looking for a date and if they like what they read in your personal ad enough they will contact you.

Writing an effective ad that can catch men's attention among so many ads is also important. You wouldn't want to put words that says "lonely and looking for love" as it sounds suggestive and may attract men who interpret you looking for just physical intimacy. It also makes you sound like a loser who is pessimistic and have nothing to look forward in life. Do not put "looking for marriage" too as that would scare many potential dates away. Men do not like the idea of marriage even before they meet you. It can make you look really desperate. Some nice words you can use would be "easy-going", "love the outdoors", "romantic", "fun-loving", "cheerful", etc. Just make yourself sound like a great date, and you would be reading never-ending letters to your mailbox.

3) You can join online dating sites

Almost everyone has internet connections nowadays and what could be easier to meet someone than joining an online dating website. There are many types of dating websites and there are no restrictions on how many you can join. Some cater to the general audience while some might cater to specific groups of people. For example, there are dating websites for people who love animals and if you find someone there, he is likely to be an animal lover like you. There are also dating websites for those who share the same religion. Online dating sites are also not restricted to the young as well as there are those who cater to seniors, the divorced, or widowed.

A great thing about online dating websites is the ease of searching for potential dates. Usually these dating sites are free to join and you can find men to talk to at anytime convenient to you. You can also put in your own profile to be searched by others. The requirements of your search are determined by you and you can choose to write to anyone who catches your interest. After some time of writing, if you have a good impression of the person, you can then move on to phone conversations or real dates.

So what you are shy? Who says shy women can't find a date? Prove them wrong!

Authored By:
Angela Tay

Happy New Year!

Hi my dear friend,

I would like to wish you all a very Happy 2009!

May you find success in your love life with the tips and advice I continue to share in this blog.

Don't forget to check out the "Recommended" resources section for ideas on how to attract the opposite sex, how to deal with a breakup, how to initiate more intimacy with your other half, etc.

You can subscribe to this blog too by RSS (see the orange button on the top right corner?) to be informed of the latest updates.

Thank you and see you around!